Kay:

Mike, you never told me you knew Johnny Fontane!

 

Michael:

My father helped him with his career.

 

Kay:

He did? How?

 

Michael:

Well, when Johnny was first starting out, he was signed to this personal service contract with a big band leader. And as his career got better and better, he wanted to get out of it. Now, Johnny is my father’s godson. And my father went to see this band leader, and…
(music starts playing in background)

 

Kay:

Go on!

 

Michael:

You see, my father, he…

 

Kay:

Yes?
(the other wedding guests get up and start gathering around)

 

Michael:

See, he…

 

Wedding Guests:

(in unison)
Made him and offer he couldn’t refuse?

 

Michael:

Brother, you know it!
(singing)

Pop has this suitcase full of dough,
And says, “If you let Johnny go,
See this ten grand
Right here in my hand,
It’s yours if you don’t say no!”

 

Wedding Guests:

(singing)

It’s an offer you can’t refuse!
You know from your head to your shoes,
This ain’t no ruse,
There’s no way to lose,
With an offer you can’t refuse!

 

Michael:

(speaking, but music keeps playing)
But the band leader? He said no.

 

Wedding Guests:

(speaking in unison)
(gasps)
Oh, no!

 

Michael:

(singing)

So Pop comes back with Luca Brasi
And says “Look you trumped-up little Nazi,
Let Johnny out of his chains,
Or we’ll blow out your brains!”
Well he lets Johnny go on the spot, see!

 

Wedding Guests:

(singing)

You’ll get more than a bruise
If you’re too dumb to choose
The offer you can’t refuse!

(extended Italian dance sequence)

 

Wedding Guests:

(singing)

It’s nothing to abuse,
Even on a cruise,
You just can’t confuse,
Even after the booze,
Just follow the clues,
Or read the reviews,

 

Burly Male Wedding Guest:

Look at my tattoos!

 

Wedding Guests:

(singing)

It’s the offer you can’t refuse!

 

Michael:

(speaking)
(takes his seat at table)
That’s a true story. That’s my family, Kay. It’s not me.

 

 

 

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